then I don't know what is

i see it again
again and again
when I see it
I am sad
really really sad
it reminds me that I am not
I mean I don't even close
I don't even close

well...

sometimes
life
is
just
so
fucking
unfair

am I special ??

you said everybody is special
and I am special too
thanks alot for saying that
but
in the other word
when everybody is spesial
then it's same like nobody is special
so who is special??
NOBODY

the greatness

to achieve greatness,

first you have to realize that you,

in fact, are not great at all.

because what?

because you are the sum of your mistakes.

key

no one will manufacture a lock without a key
similarly God won't give problems without solutions

die

I am afraid to imagine that,
when I ask to God to give me more time,
God will answer : I don't have any more time to give..
and
when earthquake happened few days ago,
I just realized that...
I am afraid to die.

another untitled

I have started to write since 4 years ago. I wrote everything but mostly about happiness.I found my old writing on my digital notebooks, read again, and these make me smile..
But now writing about happiness is very very difficult for me..
I don’t know why, may be I am changing, or the world is changing, or may be I just don’t get myself, I just don’t understand myself..
I think the most difficult phase of life is not when no one understands you, but it is when you don’t understand yourself…
Yes, I don’t understand myself.
I guess I am adults. The question is, when did that happen, and how do I make it stop? Adulthood is responsibility. Responsibility, it really does suck. I get to make my own decisions, have my own life, do whatever the damn hell I choose.
May be I am changing, may be everything is changing
Change; I don’t like it, I fear it, but I can't stop it from coming. I either adapt to change or I get left behind. And it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn’t is lying. But heres the truth: the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes change is good. Oh, sometimes, change is everything…

I have bad habits. We all have bad habits. We all make mistakes. We all have parts of the past we are proud of, and incidents that we regret. We all want to compensate, we all seek justice. We don't, though, all go out of our way to achieve the impossible. Some of us settle for more modest aspirations. Some of us feel daunted by the pressures and problems of everyday life. I, though, don't want to be afraid. Nor am I willing to compromise. Nor should I. If I reach for the highest standard now, I may not attain it instantly, but I'll certainly start to come surprisingly close...

did i marry the right person ?

This morning I saw infotainment and shocked by KD & Anang divorce. When I was teenager I described that they were the most romantic couple ever. Their romantic song, their family, their children are all perfect. I mean how happy they were, loved each other, how successful they were, had much much money (haha..materialistic teen).

I don’t understand why couples decided to divorce, I really don’t understand why they do that.
Okay, I am not married yet, I don’t know how life after marriage, but why?? Why do they choose divorce as the solution??? (hahaha,..why can't I just mind my own business, what is my problem??!)

I know commitments are complicated, but I think it's better to have someone, even if it hurts, even if it is the most painful thing you have done, even if it's the most painful thing you've ever had to do.

I think it's better to have someone..

okay, I don't want to make gossip, mumbling, or anything else..

This is a very good article.

Read it.

Those who are still single may learn something from here (talk to myself : learn something, stupid!! haha :D)

Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage....

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question.

She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?"

In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it'sweighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle.

In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse.

You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard.

In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.

You didn't have to DO anything.

That's why it's called "falling" in love...

Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."

Think about the imagery of that expression.

It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and thensomething came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy.

It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades.

It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all),touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?"

And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious.

But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lieswithin it.

I 'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.

You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better.

But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you.

You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable...you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"...

Not just a feeling…

monday laugh

Please, talk to me, why are you so quiet??
You do talk, I am listening to you
You know I can get laid whenever I want. I DO get laid whenever I want. That's the point. Women are everywhere... but I only have one person I can talk to.
That's soooo sweettt...
Shut up!

No, it's really warm and fuzzy and sweet and..
Shut up !
Hahaha, Look, you are not a nice guy. you don’t date. you don’t call the next day. You are not looking for a relationship cause you are never good at them. And honestly you are kinda hung up on somebody else. So... the only thing women are ever going to get from you is sex... that’s it.

Ya, you know me well, I only have one person I can talk to.
Shut up !!!!!!!!

I hate monday
I hate it too, I want it disappear, but then I will hate tuesday
haha, you are funny! btw lets breakfasting together
when?
lunch time
hahaha, stupid !!!!!
i know lunch time is not breakfasting time but i am already hungry
oh my , stupid !!!!!!!!

fears

Never leave that until tomorrow, which you could do today.
Have you been told about that proverb??
I don’t know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I’d say it had a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure. Fear of pain. Fear of rejection. Sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if we’re wrong. What if we make a mistake we can’t undo. Whatever it is we are afraid of, one thing holds true. That by the time the pain of not doing the thing gets worse than the fear of doing it.
We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore, until we finally understand for ourselves. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst most intractable mistake beats the hell out of never trying.

Do you know how tired I am?
Do you know how scared I am?
But I do it
I do it for you..

Life's too short to be afraid
So take a pill to numb the pain
You don't have to take the blame

Marhaban yaa Ramadhan

We're human
We make mistakes
We misestimate
We call it wrong

My deepest apology to what I have done wrong in the past…
and..
Have a great Ramadhan !

life is being happy

You said : Life is being happy, yes sometimes you breath, run, sleep, work but not happiness at all these are not the parts of life but sometimes even if you are sitting alone, even if chatting on computer or with whomever you are and you feel happiness that would be the life.

oh fuck, I love you! you have a great definition of life!
Life is being happy, It will be my new favorite quote, eshgh e man..^^

Okay, as you said life is being happy, but life is about responsibility too, I mean being an adult is full of responsibility. And responsibility is really does suck, really really suck. Life is exhausted sometimes. And well, life is complicated always. But that's life..because life..sucks.

And sometimes life is about denial. We deny we are tired, we deny that we are scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed, we deny that we are happy, or we deny that we are sad, and most importantly, we deny that we are in denial. We only see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe, and it works. We lie to ourselves so much that after a while the lies start to seem like the truth. We deny so much that we can't recognize the truth... right in front of our faces.

And life is about communication. Comunication is the first thing we really learn in life. The funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need..

And life is about the lines. In general, lines are there for a reason. For security, for clarity. If we choose to cross the line, we pretty much do so at our own risk. So why is it that the bigger the line, the greater the temptation to cross it? We cant help ourselves. When we see a line we want to cross it. Maybe it’s the thrill of the unfamiliar, a sort of personal dare. The only problem is once that we’ve crossed, it’s almost impossible to go back. But, if we do manage to make it back across the line, we find safety in numbers. We can have anything in life if we sacrifice everything else for it. What I mean is nothing comes without a price. So before we go into battle, we better decide how much we're willing to lose. Too often, going after what feels good means letting go of what we know is right. Of course, the toughest sacrifices are the ones we don't see coming, when we don't have time to come up with a strategy to pick a side or to measure the potential loss. When that happens, when the battle chooses us and not the other way around, that's when the sacrifice can turn out to be more than we can bear..

And life is about guilt. You know guilt never travels alone. Guilt brings reinforcements, namely its close friends doubt and insecurity. And it packs a wallop. We are left with a choice. Either let the guilt throw we back into the behavior that got we into trouble in the first place, or learn from the guilt and do our best to move on.

And life is about wish. We don't wish for the easy stuff. We wish for big things. Things that are ambitious, out of reach. We wish because we need help and we are scared and we know we may be asking too much. We still wish, though, because sometimes they come true.
And life sometimes doesn’t go exactly like we want it to be..
And as you said LIFE IS BEING HAPPY..

this is it, life is being happy !

#$@&*%$#@!!!!

I was so fucking sad..
really damn sad..
I said stupid-fucking-pathetic-thing.

Don't ask how I am now..
People are constantly asking you to tell them how you're doing. How the hell are you supposed to know?
so don't ask how I am, IF YOU DON'T REALLY CARE..
just shut up..
I am better than fine..
I am always fine, that's my problem..
I just can't handle this any longer.

I know life goes on. Yeah life goes fucking on..
blah blah blah (yeah whatever).

ridiculous

You are tall...

I know.

It's good to be scared

You have to make plans. At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence you in. Life is messy, that's how we're made. So you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross. If you're willing to throw caution to the wind and take a chance, the view from the other side... is spectacular...

At the some point, we are scared to cross the lines..

Here's what I know..

It's good to be scared.

It means you still have something to lose..

everybody's a liar

I never lied to you

Yes you are. You know, I know a liar when I see one because I am a liar.

Everybody is a liar..

No matter how hard we try to ignore or deny it, eventually the lies fall away, like it or not. but here's the truth about the truth. It hurts. so we lie.

Lying is bad, or so we are told constantly from birth, 'honesty is the best policy'.The fact is, lying is a necessity. We lie to ourselves because the truth... the truth is freaking hurts.

The truth is painful. Deep down, nobody wants to hear it. Sometimes we tell the truth because the truth is all we have to give. Sometimes we tell the truth because we need to say it out loud to hear it for ourselves. And sometimes we tell the truth because we just can't help ourselves. Sometimes, we tell the truth because we owe them at least that much.The truth is hard. The truth is awkward and very often the truth hurts. I mean, people think they want the truth. But do they really???

Everybody is a liar..

If you lie, don’t ever say “I never lied to you”

you know, I know a liar when I see one because I am a liar..

so If you lie, please tell me sweet little lies.

am I such an idiot? am I ??

apparently people do idiotic things all the time..

so I am not an idiot, except when I am being an idiot..
I just need sweet little lies.
I don't need horrible things.

I know, just because people do horrible things, it doesn’t always mean they are horrible people. And I know, just because people do lie onetime, it doesn’t always mean they are liar the whole time …
I know that..

And I know..
Everybody is a liar
so… please tell me sweet little lies

too much

how do you know how much is too much?
too much too late
too much too soon
too much information
too much consideration
too much fun
too much love
too much denial
too much missing someone, or
too much to ask of someone
when is it all just too much for us to bear?

how do you know how much is too much??
how do you know that??

indonesiaunitedotcom

I am having "bajigur" for coffee morning.. haha

only in Indonesia you can have it!

damn terrorist !!!!

go to the hell, son of bitch !!!!!!!!!!!!
you already messed our peace ...

it is rumored that the terrorist wants to make Indo like Iran after the president election..
what the hell is that??????!!!!
damn you terrorist !!!!!!!!!!!!!

last week jokes

our jokes before president election..

may be because of this, SBY win..

hahahaha.. contReng no.2 !!!

do we ever really grow up??

Why do men cheat? My husband slept with my friend, telling me he loves me. Why???

She was crying, and I didn’t want to stop it…

I didn’t want to say anything..

because what I say is nothing, not important, and I was sure not stop her crying..

I just was there, in silence..

well, I just didn’t know what I must answer that question, why her husband cheat, maybe her husband was low, he was down and he didn't want her to see him like that, in pain, weak, less than a man. He has his pride so he turned away. It's not right but it doesn't mean he doesn't care about his wife..

It happens. People make mistakes. They sleep with the wrong person, they sleep with the others, they cheat and they hide it.People are terrible to the people they love sometimes. They're mean. It doesn't make them the worst people in the world. It just makes them person who made a mistake..

Just like that..MAY BE

We're human. We make mistakes. We can't undo our mistakes, and we rarely forgive ourselves for them. But, it's a hazard of the trade. But, as human beings we can always try to do better. To be better. To right a wrong. Even when it feels irreversible. Of course, "I'm sorry" doesn't always cut it. Maybe because we use it so many different ways. As a weapon. As an excuse. But, when we are really sorry, when we use it right. When we mean it. When our actions say what words never can. When we get it right "I'm sorry" is perfect. When we get it right, "I'm sorry" is redemption.

Remember when we were little, and we would accidentally bite a kid on the playground? Our teachers would go "Say you're sorry." And we would say it, but we wouldn't mean it. Because the stupid kid we bit, totally deserved it. But, as we get older, making amends isn't so simple. After the playground days are over, you can't just say it. You have to mean it. Of course, sorry is not a happy word. The point is, NO GOOD AT SAYING SORRY..

Yeah.. life become more complicated, because we are not kids anymore.
There comes a point in our life, when we’re officially an adult. Suddenly, we’re old enough to vote, drink and engage in other adult activities. Suddenly, people expect us to be responsible, serious, a grown-up. We get taller, we get older. But do we ever really grow up?

can't erase

there are things that you cannot erase
like bad memories you'd rather forget
or silly things that you've done in the past
and fears of unfulfilled hope.

and there are things that you cannot erase
like this laugh
like this smile
on my face..

a kid

this is madeline, matt's daughter
she is growing up so fast..













suddenly, i want to be a kid again..
life used to be so simple..
yeah..when i was a kid, life used to be so simple..
but All said "it's impossible!" :((
I know that...

let me ask you questions
"do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?"
"have you ever have amnesia and deja vu at the same time ?"


maddy's pict is taken from his daddy's photostream on Flickr

chinese spoon

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks??


had dinner @ chinese restaurant,
and I couldn’t eat using that so damn stupid chopsticks !!

complained

sometimes when I get mad, when I am disappointed, I write bad words..
I already wrote bad words and/or may be I write bad words accidentally..
So..
I warn you.
may be according to you some of my blog entries contain bad words,
If you don’t like bad words, please turn away..
Seriously.
If you don’t like bad words and you still feel compelled to read, well, please don’t complain..
don’t send me an email to complain it..
I don’t really care..
I’m not going to censor my writing.
you can censor your reading though.

[someone (a friend) already complained because I wrote shit & damn, then I said thank you for his/her attention by wrote a reply “thanks a lot, this is really, really fucking brilliant email I received today”
you know, I did not use fucking to “describe sexual or excretory organs or activities.” I used it as an “adjective to emphasize an exclamation.”]

once again, you are warned.
I’m not going to censor my writing,
You can censor your reading..

on [6/30/2009 7:32:40 pm] somebody said :
I will talk unsensored, you can sensor your listenning !!
seem he has learned it from me..
hey youuu, please talk unsensored!

drink

As Ben Franklin said:
In wine there is wisdom,
in beer there is freedom,
in water there is bacteria...

Therefore,...
it’s better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit..
Don't say thank you, because there is no need to thank me for this valuable information..
I’m doing it as a public service...



to : eshgh e man, thank you for stopping by..
you always make me smile when you write back what I wrote here..
I tought it was a blog with one writer and zero reader ^^

so tired

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything..
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know??
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done..

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it..
I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking," but I don't have that much time..
I have an existential map. It has 'you are here' written all over it..

it's a moment..
when no word no line was left to be spoken..
I am lost..
I am losing grip..

I open the map again..
and still.. It has 'you are here' written all over it..

I am not joking
because..
if you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke??

I am so tired



**love other quotes from Steven Wright " Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories"***

broken

oh shiT !!!!
my high heels were broken when I was meeting outside...
aarrrrgghhhhhh !!#$%^&*&^%**#&^%$#

smile and the world smiles with you....
cry and you cry alone....
damn it !!

my sweet high heels were brokeeeeeennnnnnnnn !!
#$%^&*&^%$#&^&%$#**

c i n [T] a

Have you ever love someone with different religion?
God love you and your love, but you and him/her can’t continue love each other as a spouse/ couple because both of you call God by different names..
Have you ever love someone and not marry because of that??
If your answer is yes, see this film..
it's a great film...
cin(T)a. a movie. a question for God and for you.
cin(T)a boldly treads on a delicate subject many Indonesians still refrain from speaking of, let alone dealing with: a love between two people who call God by different names..

Andari Saraswati Antono wrote on godisadirector, cin(Ta) is a love triangle between a boy, a girl and God.. (it’s absolutely right!!)
To those who are not quite familiar with the Indonesian fabric: this is a place so diverse that averages are practically useless (search “Indonesia” on Wikipedia and you’ll know what I mean). That we manage to co-exist happily (for the most part, at least) is perhaps a miracle taken for granted.

Yet love, relationships and marriages are seen through a different lens when it involves more than one faith. No, we don’t practice religions to the same level of piety, but religion still is an integral part of the Indonesian life and spirituality is still something embedded deeply in the Indonesian psyche … something a lot of us want to hang on to..

Of course we can’t accuse anyone who holds firmly to their belief of being intolerant — everyone has the right to believe in what is right for them. But it doesn’t make it easy for interfaith couples to find a common ground. Even if couples can get past this hurdle, families on both sides often have a non-negotiable conviction that one should marry only within the same religion. As marriages in Indonesia is never only about two people, but about two clans meshing together, interfaith union is tricky business indeed. And some kind of a taboo, although I suspect there are more stories out there than anyone would admit…

warning

I am not going to sensor my writing
you can sensor your reading though
I am not going to sensor my writing
you can sensor your reading though
I am not going to sensor my writing
you can sensor your reading though
I am not going to sensor my writing
you can sensor your reading though
I am not going to sensor my writing
you can sensor your reading though
I am not going to sensor my writing
you can sensor your reading though
I am not going to sensor my writing
you can sensor your reading though
I am not going to sensor my writing
you can sensor your reading though

quick update

Hi, I am still alive..don’t worry ^^
I concern about Iran president election..
Hundreds of thousands of people demonstrated in downtown Tehran at a rally led by Ahmadinejad’s defeated opponent, Mir Houssein Mousavi, who charges widespread fraud in the June 12 vote..
Because of the unprecedented level of Internet access and web literacy globally and in Iran, the world has had a truly historic level of awareness and involvement in Iran's "Green Revolution" -so called because it is the color of Mousavi, Islam, and the grassroots network that propelled Mousavi's campaign..

Iranians on Facebook decided to go green.
Psychedelic green.
The colorof Islam, the color of Mousavi and, for many, the color of hope…
I love green..
I really like their slogan “ where is my vote?”
But I can’t change my profile pict with this…
Because I am Indonesian not Iranian…

I do

don't you sometimes get the feeling that wanting something can be more fun than actually having it?
and when that unattainable item is lodged in your imagination, twinkling away like a breathtaking jewel, you think about what it would be like if you had it, how it would feel, how it would change your life?

don't you sometimes get that feeling???
wanting something can be more fun than actually having it
dreaming something can be more interesting
to be frank, I do...

this is called life

life used to be so simple
life used to be so simple
life used to be so simple
life used to be so simple
life used to be so simple
life used to be so simple
life used to be so simple
life used to be so simple
life used to be so simple

why? because

Why does sunshine come after rain?

Why does daylight follow darkness?

Why are we all so stupid?
Because if we were any smarter, we'd be too clever for our own good.

Why are we all so ignorant?
Because if we knew any more, we'd have nothing left to learn.

I heard

the greatest thing
you can offer to someone
is

your TIME

time

Time seems to speed up when we want it to slow down.
Time seems to ramble when we wish it would rush.
Doesn't time fly when you are enjoying yourself
Doesn't time drag when you aren't?
Can we conclude that time is not on our side?

are we abnormal ??

Sometimes...
I wondered why we never had a normal conversation like other people did..
but it’s ok.
it was fun.
it is fun.
and hopefully it will be fun always..

worried

worried
worried
worried
worried
worried
worried
worried
worried
worried
worried
worried

comment

somebody asked me, why I made the comment box in this blog became off..
hmmmm...i thought it's blog with one writer and zero reader!
so...what is the comment box for??

actually, there is no reason why I hide the comment box..
no reason..really
because it's just not important thoughts.
what will you say about my writing??
but, to be frank, thanks for stopping by here..
if you want to make comment, call me !
haha...^^

explanation

Life can't explain everything,
because there are things in life that words can never explain..
but we are taught to feel that everything in life has to have an explanation.
we must always have a reason for choosing one thing over another..

I guess we all got sucked in into a system.
Into a river that flows...

speed

Imagine if humans are vehicles and life are roads. If all life’s road were straight, would vehicles still need steering wheels ?? How about the speed? Can we follow strict timetables?
Once again, can we follow strict timetables?? I think we can’t…
Sometimes we speed up.
Sometimes we slow down .
Speed up or slow down of our own volition.
But sometimes we must do what the traffic dictates.
Sometimes we need maps,
But sometimes we don’t..
We always have options.
We always have to choice, because there are lots of choices.
Not only speed up or slow down.
Some choices are easy. But all choices seem hard when we are harassed or hard done by. Often, we don't allow for whatever is impeding our judgement. We see our lack of certainty as inexcusable and try to compensate by acting decisively.
Then, of course, we make moves that lead to more confusion…

that day..

I was still in airport at 01.00 AM (morning or night??)
then I went to McD 24 hours, and still had much energy to talk....
I didn't sleep at all...

quote

BreAd, you know it makes sandwiches !!
that's my favorite quote..
the meaning??
find by yourself.....haha!

will tell you later

could have happened

Last night I saw Friends, American sitcoms, ‘the one that could have happened’ episode, my favorite one. That episode makes me think, how different my life would be if I didn’t do the same option, what have could happened if I choose different way, how my life would be if I had done other decision, if I ..if I…bla..bla..bla.. the lesson is that some things are just meant to be, whatever we choose, whatever we decide, it will make our life differ, it always has risk, take it, leave it, grant it, deny it, just decide it.

I am seriously addicted to Friends, one of the best sitcoms ever!
every episode always makes me laugh..
I like everyone in the movie, love the chat, love the jokes, love the whole movie...
Though laughing, we are invited to think.

plan

If we are organized person, we usually make or have fixed plans.
Plan, the things that we want them to happen, the things we want to see coming.
The things about plan is, they don’t take into account the unexpected.
We abhor failure. Of course.
But somehow we find joy in the things we don’t plan for, the things we never see coming.
The point is we always expect the best thing coming, we always expect success,we always want our plans going well, not messing up…

making mistakes

My friend asked me about the meaning of life…
I just realized that I don’t know either, I don’t know what the meaning of life exactly.
Life is LIFE, life is a complex phenomenon, life is eat and breath.
Whatever the definition about life, life is just life.

You've been unhappy and depressed a good bit, then you’re questioning the meaning of life.
You feel useless and worthless, then you want to know the meaning of life.
something awful just happened to you or someone you care about and you don't understand why bad things happen to good people, then you really need to know the meaning of life.

Life is just life
There are ups and downs, there are happiness, sadness, regret, and tears…
I don’t believe when people say they have no regrets in life. Everyone makes mistakes, and nothing’s wrong with that. Sometimes, things don’t go your way, but I believe we can make a better ending.

MISTAKES ARE HOW WE LEARN.
do you want to make a few more mistakes again??
I am thinking of that !

risk taken

Yesterday, he surprised me “I have very good news to tell you”
Then he told me about something,.
After that, smile came
he smiled, I smiled, we smiled.

I remembered one day he told me about making decision.
Every decision takes risks.
Every decision takes things that may impede us from achieving our objectives.
May be something bad happening, something not expect, risk of loss opportunity.
Threat.
Hazard.
Opportunity.
Uncertain outcomes.
All about uncertainly.

and when something bad happening, impede us from our goals, make us down, make us messed up, make us become somebody who make mistakes, it’s OK because mistakes are how we learn.

'There's always someone worse off than you are.' That's what some people say when they want to cheer us up. And he said to me too, he said to cheer me up. Oh yes. Very inspiring, I'm sure.
I repeat what he said 'There's always someone worse off than you are.' What?? We are supposed to feel better just because someone else is feeling worse??
I don’t think so!
Surely, we ought to be looking at the folk who are better off than we are, and then asking them what their secrets are….

Silent for a moment.
He was thinking.
“ you always remind me when I become absent-minded”, he said.
I replied, “what?? have you become absent-minded with age ?"
Risk taken !!
he laughed, I laughed, we laughed
laughed
not just smiled

fairy tales

we all remember the bed time stories of our childhoods. the shoes fits Cinderella, the frog turns into a prince, sleeping beauty is awakened with a kiss…
once upon a time, and then they lived happily ever after.
fairy tales, the stuff of dreams.
the problem is fairy tales don’t come true.
yeah…they don’t come true !!
the person who invited the phrase “happily ever after” should have his ass kicked so hard.

fairy tales, the stuff of dreams never come true.
reality is much stormier
reality is much murkier
reality is much scarier
again, the person who invited the phrase “happily ever after” should have his ass kicked so hard

our zone

Leaving our comfort zone make us get anxious, scared and other sort of feelings when we want to cross the border.
But I believe once we pass thru it..we’ll feel better and stronger than ever

the book

people say don't judge a book by it's cover
but I did, and still do it
I do judging a book by it's cover !
Is it wrong??

we can do judging a book by it's cover
but remember....
we can't make summary before we read the book completely

right ???

mess

I am mess
How awful when we find out we are mess..
May be sometimes we just messing up
Messing up ! that’s how we learn become person
But, now…I don’t know how I must learn
I want to learn, I want to change
but I don’t know how, how to start, how to manage, how to change
BAM! I lost myself !!

coffee

I had a bitter coffee this morning.

For the first time, oh wait..not the first time may be, I feel like hating someone so much..
Not necessary hating him just because of his work, not important thing!
I don’t like depending on my success to someone else, but in teamwork my success is our success, right?! We are depending, work together as a team…
Oh forget it..may be the moral is I must be more more and more patient..
Become more patient and not hating someone else just because he/she is horrible.
But I must speak up, I will say what I believe,I will say what I am thinking right, not because I’m a Hero, but because I’m a Human.


I like answers, I do… much more than questions.
Answers, even if we disagree with them, we have something to react to. Answers are reassuring, comforting and clear. Questions, by contrast, are aggravating and exasperating. They hang around, making everything uncertain and unsettled…
If someone ask you and you don’t know what you must answer, it’s horrible, right??
It’s horrible for you, you may think that you are useless. But it’s not like that.
Sometimes it is just your feeling, you are not useless actually, just don’t know what the answer of the question. Just don’t know..
If we ask question, we don't just want the most convenient answer, we want the right one. And if we are asked and don’t know what the right answer, just don’t answer !
We don’t know everything .

I am open to the possibility that I may be making a mistake... but somehow I have a feeling I am probably doing the right thing!
haha ^^


want coffee?? Let’s do starbucks!
I need one!
Not a bitter one anymore !!

my wish

God..
sometimes I wish You spoke like human..
but no..no...
perhaps if you speak like human you say "I have not enough time!"
perhaps if you speak like human you say "I am too busy!"

is this life??

I started to feel lonely, everytime I heard the clapping sound of rain..
I really feel lonely
right now.. so lonely
pathethic. huh?!

Lately I was in one of my deepest depressions, I thought with the start of a new year to think about where I am now and where I have been...
I don't know what I must do
I can't think
can't....
just can't

Why do I feel that life is so hard for me??